It has been a shitty couple of days since my last post. I don't know why I feel the urge to write this down except for a desperate need to purge the feelings of despair one cathartic syllable at a time.
For the first time in my life I have had to give permission for the euthanasia of a beloved pet and I feel like I have betrayed him. I feel overwhelmed with the guilt and sorrow of his loss.
I realise now that the suffering I saved him at the end is now mine to bear.
Goodnight Gerry XXX